Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
