rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
she told me i tasted like america
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
sex in a hospital.. check
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
