Cold hands, warm shart.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
