we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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