Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I think my nap took me to another dimension
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
