so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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