My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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