you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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