You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I had to cum in my sink.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize