It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
