Pass out mid-funnel last night.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
Randomize
