She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
