so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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