id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
