So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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