if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
