All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
