But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
