You're my little dorito
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
