Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
