I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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