I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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