I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize
