; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Randomize