hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
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