i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
