Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
