Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
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