we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
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