haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
nutella sex= disaster
Come see our sink grown plant.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
