The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Floor bacon is actually really good
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Randomize
