Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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