i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
