I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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