I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
Randomize