4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Randomize
