Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
