Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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