why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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