and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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