But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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