she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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