is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
