Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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