I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
