question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
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