so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Randomize
