Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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