Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize
