i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Farmville is her only friend.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
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