Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
