her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
