So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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