I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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