so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
that is very illegal...i love you.
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