3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
