well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
