just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I wear drunk well.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
