She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Randomize
