I think my vagina is haunted
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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