So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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