this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize