They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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