I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize