Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
bring money and cleavage
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
Randomize