If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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