I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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