When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
