The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize