she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
now i know why i became what i already was.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I wish they made helmets for livers.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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