Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
