so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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