just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Randomize
