at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
